Hello my name is KDB. I’m in my mid 40’s and I have had a very serious disorder since I was maybe 12-13. And that is that I am a lover of young girls. Now what I mean by young girls is of ages 13-17. Recently I have found myself in love with girls younger than 13, but I’m more in love with their face or their “cuteness”.
The reason why I’m like this is not by choice. But it all started when I was a kid when I was mentally and physically abused by my father and by kids at school. I had at least one bully or one beating every year that I was in school and at preschool as well. Plus every day that I can remember, I was also mentally and physically abused by my father from as far back as I can remember until I was 27 when I kicked him out of my life after saying some disturbing things about how stupid I was. And I finally had enough.
I have never been in serious trouble with the law and I have never found myself trying to do anything illegal with a child. The closest that I came was back when I was in high school and I followed one teenage girl that I loved home. But I turned and walked away shortly after she arrived home.
As far as what do I do to calm my fondness down. I fantasize a lot. Back in my teens, twenties and thirties I masturbated a lot about either girls at school or girls that I saw on TV or out in public. But as soon as I turned 40, my sex drive dried up. Now I might jerk off maybe 1 to 2 times a month. I’m kinda glad that I don’t jerk off as much as I used to do. The fantasies are still there but I have no fondness to pleasure myself.
I do find myself often looking at YouTube videos and looking at teen non-nude pictures. I don’t look at anything that would be considered close to being illegal. I’m the type of person that mainly only looks at a girl’s face and I find pleasure in their look. And then sometimes on the weekend when the weather is nice, I would go to the local mall, sit down in the food court and just watch the beautiful girls in my area. I don’t stare at them for a lengthy amount of time to cause suspicion. I just take a look at them for a few seconds.
I think that’s enough info on me for right now. I’ll be posting at least once a week with updates about my life as well as some thoughts on different subjects that affect people like me.