I like girls younger than me. It took me a full ten minutes to say this six word sentence to my dad. He was getting impatient as it was quite uncomfortable seeing me squirm and cover my face with my hands for ten minutes straight. “Come on.. What’s up? Just tell me already.”

“I like girls younger than me”, I said covering my face in fear.

“What? It’s normal to be attracted to girls younger than you,” my dad said clearly in confusion.

“Think about it more,” I said while hyperventilating.

He thought about it for a second and said, “How old are you talking about here? Do you like your sister? She is 7 years old.”

“No,” I took a breathe, “I am 16. I like girls that are 16 years old. 15 years old. 14 years old. And 17 plus,” I was visibly shaking and sweating.

“Well that’s okay, you are a teenager so it’s normal to be attracted to other teenagers.”

“More importantly, 13, 12, 11 and 10 years old,” I said very quickly, covering my face. Oh god I really said it. This is it. My heart is exploding.

He paused. “Well that is quite young… Do you mean you are attracted to them? As in you want to see them naked?”

“Yes…”

“You know girls these ages they are innocent… They just want to play. They don’t really think about se-”

I interrupted him and quickly said in defense: “Yes! They are innocent. They do not think about sex. All they think about is their family, school, friends and maybe playing video games. I am against having sex or having a sexual relationship with any girl of that age.”

“Well how do you know that you are attracted to girls this age? How long did you want to tell me this?”

“I was 10 or 11 years old, I didn’t really put much thought about it because… I was attracted to girls the same age as me! But then as a grew older, I was still attracted to girls around 11 years old. And it got me worried. Now, I am 16, and my age of attraction didn’t go up. I am a pedophile.” I said with sadness in my voice, “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah. Well I cannot really relate to it, but yeah it makes sense.”

“Not all pedophiles are child molesters, and not all child molesters are pedophiles,” I said.

“Hmm yeah, I agree with that.”

It seemed that he was willing to learn more about it so I asked him to make a google search: ‘Virped’.

He then immediately read the entire page of Virtuous Pedophiles. And I was taken aback. He was reading and wanting to learn more about this. He could have just shut me down or shrugged all of this under the rug. He wants to understand me and is open-minded. I felt loved.

I asked him to go to YouTube and I let him watch videos from James Cantor and from Sexplanations. He watched them and took it seriously.

Afterwards, we had a really long honest conversation. I’ll try to sum up the things he said:

“Thank you for sharing this with me. It must have been a long time keeping this inside. What you are attracted to does not define you. What is most important for me is that you are happy. It does not make you a bad person or a monster for having these attractions. I am proud of you, for being brave to tell me about it and for having a conscience, to never act your urges on children. I am not afraid, you said that you will never harm anyone, so I believe you. I trust that you will never harm anyone. You can always talk to me about anything. You are so strong and brave. You are a good son and I love you.”